One Word
by Vader's Fallen Angel
Summary: Various members of the Skywalker family reflect. 10 Chapters planned.
1. Beloved

**B**elong. Anakin had never really belonged anywhere. Among the slaves he was different. He dreamed of more, knew he was meant for more. Among the Jedi he longed for more though he knew he should not. He came in too late, too old, too dangerous. But here, standing on the porch outside this darkened bedroom containing his new wife, where the only light was the moon reflected off the water, he felt like he belonged.

**E**ternity. His eternity was promised to her officially. He had always been hers; he had understood that the minute he laid eyes on her even when he wasn't his own to give away. But now she belonged to him as well. Now they were bonded legally, if secretly, in the eyes of the gods and men. The vows of the humans on Tatoonie stated, "until death do us part". But the vows of the humans on Naboo instead promised eternity, beyond death. Even if one partner died the other was still considered married. He smiled. Loving Padme for eternity was the most wonderful of dreams come true.

**L**ove. He loved her. He lowered his head into his hands letting out a shaky breath. He loved her, by the force he loved her so much it hurt. He loved her so much, so powerfully that it scared him sometimes. He would do anything for her… and that was dangerous. It was one thing to say, he was sure many had murmured it to the ones they loved over the centuries. But he had never had particularly strong morals; no real definition of right and wrong, good and evil. He fought for people, not abstract concepts like, justice, truth, democracy, or any of those things. Most of those who claimed to rarely did, he at least was honest with his amorality. Further more while they would sell out for their own gain, he cared little for himself. Those he loved were more important. No attachments be damned he loved her and would die or kill, be the hero or the villain; he loved her too powerfully to be controlled. He could hear Obi-Wan now.

**O**bject. Obi-wan would object he knew. His master would explain about the dangers of attachment. Anakin was attached to his master as well, like a father or brother. And he knew Obi-Wan cared for him as well. But of course, being the perfect Jedi he could neither acknowledge such a thing nor encourage it. Anakin remembered the first time he told his master he loved him. He hadn't at first, still mourning over his mother and wary of the man who trained him only because of another. Living a slave's life where someone could be dead or sold at any time, he was wary of investing his heart. After Obi-Wan's first dismissal of him he was cautious of exposing it, once bitten twice shy. But when he did tell his brother/father the man had paused and stared at the boy as if Anakin had suddenly announced that he was planning to grow two heads. Anakin had begun to wilt and noticing, Obi-Wan hesitantly thanked him. Then he sat down and explained to Anakin how many padwans grew to care for their masters, him included, but that it was generally discouraged. Obi-Wan would certainly object to Padme, he objected to everything good in Anakin's life. Everything he needed.

**V**ital. Anakin needed her. He could not live without her. He knew simply, quietly, that Anakin Skywalker would die without Padme Amidala. That with her death he would cease to be. He had explained this to her earlier and she had laughed, asking him if he wasn't Anakin Skywalker who would he be? He had told her the truth, he always had. "I don't know," he murmured into her hair, "but he frightens me." He would become, he realized with sudden clarity, the same person he had been on the night his mother died. He pushed his mother's face out of his mind and concentrated on Padme. His wife, his everything.

**E**verything. She was everything to him. Everything he had was taken from him at one point or another. Before he was born he was stripped of his dignity, his self-worth, his freedom. Afterwards he knew he truly owned nothing. Everything, his food, his clothing, his shelter, his body, his mother, could be taken from him at his master's whim. The Jedi had taken his right to think (be mindful of your thoughts), to feel (I sense much fear in you), to dream (dreams pass in time). They would take his Padme from him if they ever found out about the marriage, found out how much he cared for her. Just like they had kept him from his mother.

**D**eath. Death had taken his mother, would take others in the coming war. But not Padme, never Padme. If he had to sell his soul he would but by the Force she would live! He fists clenched and his head bowed he vowed it would be so. A vow made to the Force and released into its currents. The only other aware of it was a man on Corusant who had focused a good deal of his power on the padawan. The man heard it and smiled, then made plans around it. But the young husband didn't know that as he brooded over dark things until Padme's voice interrupted him.

**"Where are you beloved?"**


	2. Angel

**A**lways. They had promised to be together always and forever. But Padme found herself all too often alone in their bed. Like she was now. Padme rolled over and caressed the sheets on his side of the bed. Her husband's side. She mouthed the word husband. It was a word that she thought she would never use, had resigned herself to it in fact. But now, Anakin Skywalker was her husband. Anakin Skywalker, the blue-eyed boy from Tatooine, the Jedi padwan who gained a slightly haunted look in his eyes after his mother's death, now the Jedi knight who was a war hero. Anakin Skywalker, the Son of Suns, the Chosen One, the Hero with No Fear. Obi-Wan teased him mercilessly about the last title, changing it to "the Hero with No Common Sense". She just called him "the Hero with Far Too Many Names".

**N**ame. She whispered her name out loud. Padme Amidala Skywlker. That was her name now. And only six people knew it, seven actually as Anakin told her Palaptine knew though how he found out they didn't have a clue. Nine she supposed if you counted the droids. Normally everyone would know. She would be called either Senator Amidala or Senator Skywalker, as was her preference. She would be called Mrs. Skywalker instead of Miss. Naberrie. Names were important to the Naboo. Padme meant wisdom or compassion. Amidala meant ruler of paradise or strong of heart. And yet she could never reveal one of her most important names, her married name. Not the name her parents gave her. Not the name she had given herself. But the name her husband gave her.

**G**ive. Anakin had given her a new name, but also so much more. He had given her life in so many ways. They balanced each other. She lived in a tower, firmly planted in conviction and belief, built up over her lifetime. She remained within her emotionless tower, untouchable. Anakin was like a hurricane. He blew though with such _life_, such excitement for just being alive that it left her breathless. And anyone nearby could not help but be sucked up. They complimented each other in that way. She gave him a steady sense of peace, and he gave her an intoxicating taste of life. He infused her daily "life" with such hope, joy, power, impulsiveness, and so much more that she wondered if she could be considered living when he was gone. She wondered how she had ever survived without such love of life, such excitement, as the type he brought. He loved life, lived it to the fullest with a boundless energy that left her breathless and infused everyone around him

**E**nergy. He seemed to be drained of it these days. It wasn't just because of the war, of this she was sure. When he came back from the battlefield, sometimes with new scars to show for his time away, he had energy enough. It was when he returned from talking with Palpatine that he seemed drained, moody. Padme bit her lip. Palpatine had always supported her, but lately he seemed much changed. She supposed it, like so much else, could be chalked up to the war and what it did to everyone. But why then the change when her Ani returned from speaking with him? Moody, depressed, easily angered, drained of his life, his energy. Palpatine had been his mentor for years, as he had been hers, but this change made her wonder if there weren't two sides of him. But if he had been wearing a mask for this whole time then… she didn't want to follow this train of thought. She had done so before and it lead to her questioning every decision she had made based on his advice. How long had the deception gone on? How many years of lies?

**L**ie. What a horrible word. It meant: to be deceptive, to betray trust, to be economical with the truth as some as her fellow senators would say. She never wanted to be like that and so went out of her way to make sure that she was honest and honorable, even if the short-term benefits were there the long term ones were deadly. Honor, once lost, was hard to gain back. Trust, once broken, was often withheld. Sure she and Sabe had switched during the Trade Federation, but that had been brief and she had made all the decisions via prearranged signals. The only thing she wasn't doing was wearing that awful make-up. But this lie, her married status, was long term and affected her life deeply. Every time she spoke to her father about everyday life, she omitted things. Every time she assured her mother she wasn't looking for a mate, she bended the truth. Every time she told her sister she would not, could not, make room for romance she outright lied. The only person she loved and did not lie to _was_ the lie. Her husband. She lay there, wishing her husband's arms were around her, comforting her, and he was whispering in her ear.

"I love you Angel."


	3. Chosen

**C**hildren. They had never spoken of children. Padme stood at the window, rubbing her belly in slow circles. She watched the battle rage above, knowing her husband was up there, fighting. She had already gotten dressed in preparation for meeting him. All that was left was her cloak, thrown over a nearby couch. The cloak that was needed to hide her pregnancy. Her pregnancy. Their _child_. She and Anakin had never talked of having children. It had always seemed like mute point. A marriage was a dangerous enough thing to hide, but children? You couldn't expect an infant to understand why his parents wanted him hidden. You couldn't hope a baby would comprehend why she was a secret. And considering Anakin's position, not to mention her own, neither of them could be seen as a parent. And yet… That seemed to be their anthem. They couldn't be attached, and yet they were married. They couldn't be in love, and yet they were devoted to each other. They couldn't have children, and yet they were parents-to-be. She knew that they both _wanted_ children. She had dreamed of her own little ones growing up and she had seen the way "Uncle Ani" had been delighted to spend time with his nieces. But what they wanted was all to often forced take back seat to the realities of the universe. Suddenly she was kicked. She murmured softly to their child, promising Daddy would be home soon.

**H**ome. She remembered her mother saying, "home is where the heart is" – Jobal did love to quote. Padme had lived in many places. The royal palace, Varykino, her parent's home, 500 Republica, etc. But home to her was Ani's arms. When she had told him this one night, he had smiled in her hair and swore that she was his only home, his sanctuary. Now she supposed home would be where her family was, her husband and child both. Her infant kicked again, this time on the other side. Her baby seemed to be always moving. She wondered if the babe would have to be taken to the Temple. If the life growing inside of her would call the Temple on Coruscant home instead of the Lake House on Naboo. If he or she was strong enough in the Force it might be a good idea, but… but she really shouldn't entertain any other ideas. Their child was likely to be strong enough. Not only the child of a Jedi but of the Chosen One himself.

**O**ne. The One who would bring balance to the Force. The Chosen One. It was a title given to Anakin when he was nine years old, just freed from slavery. And he had immediately tried to prove himself worthy of it. She wondered how fair it was to tell a child that he had a destiny to hold up. She was beginning to seriously resent all of the titles thrust upon her husband. Each and every one he tried to live up to. "The Hero with No Fear" threw himself into one situation after another. "The Chosen One" expected more of himself that any other person alive. "The Son of Suns" believed he had no right to be weak, to cry. Anakin seemed to want particularly to prove himself to those important to him. To his master, who was hesitant to train him at first, that he was a good apprentice. To his mother, who was long dead but had let him go so he could be trained, that he was the best Jedi ever. To his wife, who had turned him away at first, that he was a superior husband than any other suitors she had. To his wife, who had seen his "failure" on Tatooine, that he was powerful enough to protect his family. To his wife, who met him when he was still a slave, that he was worthy of being wed to a wealthy woman from such a high position. To his wife… Padme felt like screaming at times. How could she get it through his head? All she desired from him was his love. Why couldn't he see that? She knew he wasn't perfect, but he was perfect for her. Love wasn't conditional. It wasn't "I'll love you if" or "I'll love you as long as" or any other variation. It was just "I love you". She admired all of his achievements, but she still loved him after seeing the man hidden behind the masks he wore. Why couldn't he understand that she loved Anakin Skywalker, not his titles and masks – Hero with no Fear, Chosen One, Son of Suns. Was it because so few people tried to look beyond the mask to see the man?

**S**ee. Anakin used the title Son of Suns the least, but Padme thought it was just because he wasn't sure how to use it to hide as well as he did the others. And he did hide. He laughed, his smile lighting up his whole face. He faced down opponents with steel-eyed determination, never wavering. He swept in from nowhere, saving the day. People believed that all they saw was what he was, not all he had chosen to show them. So very few people knew him. And she knew this made him feel alone. He was so sure he had to live up to who he thought others wanted him to be, it was nearly impossible to convince him otherwise. Part of it was left over from being a slave she knew. If he didn't pretend that he was exactly what his masters wanted, the repercussions, such as they were, could be severe depending on the mood of his master. Officially free from slavery, some lessons never left him. After one rejection, he would withdraw, study the person whose approval he desired, then create a mask to be worn and presented, modifying as needed. Padme knew he felt alone, hiding something from almost everyone.

**E**veryone. He hid something from everyone except Palpatine. From his wife, Anakin hid the horrors of war and what affected him so badly. From his master, Anakin hid his dabbles in the Dark Side and his marriage. And he was more open with the two of them then everyone else, except Palpatine. She knew _why_ he hid things from his wife. He wanted to protect her from what he never wanted her near. But Padme hated knowing she was missing out on an essential side of her husband, ignorant of important parts of his life. Palpatine had a much clearer view on who Anakin truly was. She knew _why_ he hid things from his master. He wanted to make the man proud of him, so covered up everything else. Padme was sure Obi-Wan would mourn if he knew the reason behind their divide. Palpatine knew so much more about Anakin's feelings and state of mind. Everyone else… for all he appeared to be opened not one of them knew a thing. He built a strong enough wall to keep everyone out, away from his too-fragile heart. Padme knew he used to have friends in the Temple, but over the course of the war every one of them had died in front of him. If was almost as if the Sith knew exactly who Anakin's friends were and was gunning for them specifically to get to Anakin. Padme shook her head. Great, now she was getting into conspiracy theories. Everyone knew that… but then everyone thought they knew her husband didn't they. Sometimes everyone was wrong. "A person is smart, people are stupid," as the old political saying went. Everyone could be fooled. Taking her husband as an example again, with all the news coverage he got everyone thought they knew everything, instead of nothing.

**N**ews. The news did adore her husband, and for this she was unsure if she loved them or hated them. On the plus side she got almost constant reports of him without looking suspicious. On the minus side they reported his death whenever things got too boring. She glared at the holonet, pretty sure at the moment she hated it. Then, the report came. Her husband had saved the day again. He was coming home to her. She flung the cloak on, ready to go tell her husband her own news. She stopped in front of the mirror, checking her appearance, calming herself. She glanced at her hairstyle. It wasn't the worst she had worn, but she still prayed it didn't come back around in time to force her child, if a girl, to wear it. She heard the news still on in the background. They were going on about the Chosen One… Her husband was chosen, though sometimes she wondered. He was chosen to bring balance, taught to fight and kill, never taught to love or create. And so she wondered sometimes.

Chosen to live or chosen to die?


	4. Son

**S**mall. The word son was incredibly small. It was only three letters long in fact. S-O-N. Three. Granted the average number of letters a word was only slightly bigger at four. But none of them meant son. And so it was this small word that had turned Darth Vader's world on its head. In its defense it came with other, bigger words. Two of them in fact: Luke Skywalker. There were even more words after that: rebel pilot, squad leader, Death Star, Rogue Squadron, Tatooine, etc. But they all meant enemy which was a five letter word and not son which was only three. The man in front of him fidgeted nervously, obviously taking the Dark Lord's silence to be ominous when in fact said Dark Lord was staring stupidly and wondering if he should ask this trembler why important words were only three letters long.

**O**nly. If only seemed to be a theme of his oddly enough. In general he dealt with life as it was, not as he wished it would be. His life had no room left of delusions, wishes, hopes, dreams or any such nonsense. Wishing that he had know of his enemy's movements before hand wouldn't stop one of them from firing on his ship when he wasn't expecting it. But whenever he looked to the past the words "if only" came up again. If only he hadn't jumped he wouldn't be in the suit, if only he hadn't ignored his dreams his mother would be alive, if only She had listened on Mustfar… but he didn't want to think of that. Now he had a whole new slew of "if only"s to deal with. They bombarded him as he headed back to his chambers. If only he had pushed aside his pain and examined his wife's passing thoroughly he might have spotted the deception. If only he had bothered to keep in contact with his stepbrother. If only he had ignored the memories of his mother's death long enough to go down to Tatooine himself. If only he had _known_. But now that he did know, what was he do about this newfound child of his?

**N**ew. He paused as the possibilities rushed at him. Another Skywalker, strong in the Force. (And a great pilot, a part of him said with very un-patriotic pride.) But that aside, a new Skywalker. He smiled and sunk down in his "throne" considering. His injuries had prevented him from claiming the true throne, the Imperial throne. But with his son by his side… a new tool for him to use to gain power. The lingering human part of him that had been silent for years but apparently took Luke's appearance to mean _his_ appearances were welcome whispered "a new chance at a family." Vader considered this. A chance to rule with his bride was long gone, but a chance to rule with his son was a whole new possibility. He was fairly sure that the part of him that was Anakin Skywalker was rolling his eyes at the immediate connection to power. His Vader side on the other hand seemed to be snickering. He would offer Luke both. A new chance for them to be a family and a new chance at power. He would find his newly discovered son and claim Luke.

**His child. His son. His new hope.**


	5. Sister

**S**urprise. Luke's life seemed to be full of surprises lately. Lord Vader was his father. Princess Leia was his sister. What was next? Han was his cousin? Yoda was his grandfather? And yet, he always felt a connection to her, didn't he? And even when he found her attractive, hadn't there been a feeling of wrongness to the whole thing? He briefly thought back to the kiss in the medical center, then promptly decided that some memories were best left permanently buried. He really wished the Force warned him about certain things.

**I**f. He supposed that feeling of wrongness was the attempt to warn him. Maybe if he had been properly trained. He felt a brief, familiar flash of anger that immediately turned to ash. While before killing Vader drove him, now the idea held no fierce joy, empty despair stood in its place. If he had been better trained he wouldn't have rushed off to Bespin. If he had known more he would have sensed Ben's "truth from a certain point of view". But the word if was dangerous. If he knew at the beginning, he might have left to find his sire immediately, uncaring of dark and light. If he was better trained, he might have killed the man, forever unknowing of his mistake. If he knew about Leia then the Sith might have found out about her though him. In the end who could say which future was best?

**S**afety. With a ripple of fear he realized he just compromised his sister's safety. Now there were two Skywalkers that the Emperor could try to lure to his side. Now it was more than his soul, his future in danger. Twenty-three years of protection and now his feelings might hand her over. Reluctantly he admitted that they were right to keep the two of them apart and unknowing. What if he faced his father with thoughts of his sister? The older man could have easily gleaned the knowledge from him. Luke was not cocky enough, now, to believe that he was strong enough or skilled enough to stop the Dark Lord. What if he knew about her and chosen to go with him? The galaxy would have lost its last hope. Leia's safety was paramount. As was his. Luke went cold as he realized Ben's purpose on Tatooine. To guide and teach him no doubt. To poison him against his father as well, clearly. And to protect him. He would have done so to, probably did so – at least one time Luke knew about, when the Tusken Raiders would have killed him. Were there other threats dealt with that he never knew about? Luke wondered how far Ben would have gone to protect the Light's hope. Would Ben have killed him or tricked Vader into doing so before letting his sire claim him? That, he supposed, depended on whether Ben was protecting a tool to be used to destroy the darkness, or his old apprentice's son. Leia surely had a Jedi guardian as well. Luke wondered what happened to him or her. Did he or she die on Alderaan? Would she have done anything to keep Leia from her birth family? Had he known Anakin personally? Not like it mattered any more of course. It wasn't like her protector did enough to keep his sister safe from his father's torture. Luke was the one who had saved his twin sister.

**T**ruth. Luke would need to tell his sister the truth. He almost laughed. The truth. How could he when he barely knew the truth himself? What did he know? He and Leia were twins. Vader was Anakin who turned to the dark side. That was about it. Tremendous revelations in and of themselves, but lacking so many answers. He didn't know anything about their mother. He didn't know why his father turned. He didn't really know much of anything. He closed his eyes to ask the Force for answers, but how could he know if what he learned was the truth? He would have to know the truth before he went before his father. Last time the truth was on the side of the Dark Lord. Compounding his difficulty, the dark side breed deception. From what Leia said Palaptine deceived the Jedi, the senate, and the citizens of the Republic all. He wasn't a trained Jedi nor experienced politician, he had but one advantage they lacked, he knew who Palpatine was and what he wanted from him. Still it was just one advantage against a man who held most or all of the cards. Luke could not go before the Emperor with anything more than certainty or he would fall. Leia, Leia might know more and Leia might actually tell him the truth; unless of course she knew most or all of the deceptions and participated in misleading him. No. Partly trained he might be, wrong he might be, but he felt certain that she was kept as ignorant as he. Luke wondered how she would react. "Hey Leia, guess what I found out. We're brother and sister! Surprise! Oh yeah, and you know Vader, guy who tortured you, second-in-command to the bloodthirsty Emperor, helped found the Empire that we've been fighting, in control of the Imperial Nave, froze Han on Bespin, that Vader. Well you'll never believe it, but he's our father! Isn't that great! Leia. Leia?" That would go over well.

**E**mpathy. Well, at least he could empathize. His reaction was a little on the extreme side. Force it took him almost a year to get used to the idea and he hadn't truly accepted it until Yoda's confirmation. They had been or would be presented with the same revelation even if she would learn differently so they would know what the other went through even if that whole "twin empathy" thing was just the produce of imaginative writers. But Leia heard him when he called for her after the debacle on Bespin so maybe there was some truth there after all. Maybe their bond would be stronger if they had a chance to develop it. They were twins. They should have been raised side by side instead of on opposite sides of the galaxy. They should know each other as siblings instead of strangers who became friends. They grew up as opposites: outer-rim farm boy and core world princess. (Well he supposed that if they were outer-rim slave and core/mid-rim queen they might be more different, but now he was edging toward ridiculous.) It shouldn't be this way. But then, nothing was the way it should be in their family. They should have known about each other. Their father and mother should have raised them. Their father shouldn't have hurt them or turned to the darkness or, well, that's where it all began really. Their father's turning was what caused everything else to go wrong. Well, he didn't cause everything. Palaptine certainly held some of the blame and Luke was sure that many people played a role. But his sire was the one who made the choice. Luke now had that same choice. No. He had decided as well. It was Leia who now had that same choice. Luke would tell her the truth and allow her as much freedom as she could have with twenty-three years of bias. Then, when all deceptions were revealed, when there was only truth, he would make that his foundation and go to face the emperor. After he reunited with his sister he would seek out their prodigal father.

**R**esolution. Luke nodded, firm. But immediately thoughts of what could go wrong entered his head. What if he fell? What if his father was truly unredeemable? What if Leia fell? What if she didn't want him as a brother? For a moment he rethought his recent decision. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all. Ignorance is bliss and all that. Surely it was better not to risk it. She didn't know before and it didn't hurt her. The knowledge was dangerous. If he had just been another Jedi upstart his situation would be much different and in some ways much less dangerous. Once she knew she would go from rebellious princess to potential Sith. Without her consent or worse, with it. No. That was the decision that Ben and Yoda made as well. To not tell him so he would not be tempted, because they were not sure what he would do… but truth will out. Better for her to know now. Whatever happened it was her right to know and hear it from him. It was the right thing to do. Fear did not determine right and wrong. What had Ben said so long ago? "You must do what you feel is right of course". He would. He released his fear into the force. With a clear head he resolved not to let his fear control his actions. It was time to return to his family, to speak to his sister, to reveal the truth, and trust in the force.

**It was time to do what he felt was right.**


End file.
